Unclenching
If you have only lived with your parents and siblings and you found their habits irritating – wait until you live with people you don’t know.
You will get along for a while and then their ways will start to give you the sh*ts. The key to getting along with others is unclenching. You need to relax. By that we mean you have to accept other people’s quirks and focus on yourself.
Respect
Understand and accept you have different standards to others when you are living with someone else. You don’t have to lower or increase your standards for the other person / people in your house, but you should respect their ways and stick to the agreed rules.
If you think other people are going to pick up after you or pay your bills – you are in for a rude awakening and uncomfortable conversations.
The most important thing is to recognise when something is really bugging you and speaking up in a respectful way. By evading problems or being passive-aggressive is only going to create tension. If someone is consistently late paying the bills, or they are bringing drugs into the house and you are not okay with it – you need to nip that in the bud as soon as possible.
Nagging
Don’t turn into a nagging person, if someone leaves a dirty glass in the living room – leave it for them and stop looking at it. The more you get worked up about petty things the grumpier you are going to become. And try not to irritate the others – if you have agreed to keep the house tidy and the dirty glass is yours, pick it up, wash it and put it away.
Some people are so used to being told what to do they just wait for someone to tell them what needs to be done. When you are a sharing a house playing the part of a parent is nobodies role. If you have agreed on the house rules at the very beginning of living together you can have an adult conversation if someone is not pulling their weight.
“Hey Barry, we agreed to keep the kitchen clean are you still okay with that because I’m finding it frustrating when I go to cook my dinner and your dirty dishes from last night are in the sink.”
Try this before putting all of Barry’s dirty dishes in his bed when he is out.
You need to embrace that everyone is different. If Barry likes the toilet paper to roll under and you like it to roll over – let it go. In the scheme of things, it’s just different than what you are used to.
Living in Harmony
Living with other people is not just about getting along with them – you need to adjust to their ways and they need to adjust to your ways. You want to make the living situation work for you both so remember you are living with this person/people because you are splitting the bills and saving money so you can do the things you want to do. AND it’s not forever.
If you go into a house sharing situation with a relaxed ‘unclenching’ mindset – you are off to a good start. Just don’t let others walk all over you.
Related Articles: 10 Things no one tells you about moving out
Other Resources: 11 Rules that create share house harmony
